


Now I’m Reliving the Same Damn Life

by d0ntyouforgetaboutme



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Stanley Uris Lives, T for trashmouth, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21862453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d0ntyouforgetaboutme/pseuds/d0ntyouforgetaboutme
Summary: The Losers are finally able to enjoy their adult lives after they’ve defeated Pennywise and the emotional wounds start to heal.And then they’re faced with their younger selves, literally.(Title is from the song Same Damn Life by Seether)
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Comments: 82
Kudos: 335





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie have some unexpected visitors.

Life was good for the Losers in 2019. They’d finally given Pennywise a good ass kicking and were able to move on with their lives. Bev and Ben got married and were now expecting a baby (so far they were the only Losers to have kids), Bill found new inspiration to improve his endings and his writing was more successful than ever, Mike finally got the fuck out of Derry and was living his best life in Florida, Stan was in therapy for his depression and doing better than he had been in a long time, Eddie was also in therapy to work out years of emotional trauma after leaving a toxic marriage, and Richie was able to stop supressing himself and enjoying success in his career just like Bill. And of course, he and Eddie were married, which topped everything else in both of their eyes.

The chaotic clown fuckery that was Pennywise left so many emotional scars that everyone was still recovering three years after their final battle with him.

Needless to say, Richie and Eddie were not pleased when their recovery was interrupted by some time travel related bullshit that brought their thirteen year old selves into their home.

“Dude, where the fuck are we?” baby Richie whispers. They were in the entry way of a house they’d never been in. He clung slightly to baby Eddie, who was equally as freaked out.

“It’s some random house, I guess” Eddie whispers back. He takes notice of some shoes on the ground and a mirror on the wall above a small table. Both see a picture at the end of the entry way.

Baby Richie creeps over to it. He sees seven random people on a beach. The focal point of the picture is a hot guy with a redhead who kinda reminds him of Bev. They’re surrounded by other people, all in Hawaiian shirts. He sees a tall guy with messy brown hair and glasses, not unlike his own, standing with another guy who was much shorter than him. And then he sees a guy whose face looks exactly like Stan’s-

“Holy fuck, Eds come see this” Richie says a bit too loudly.

“Rich, is that you- WHAT THE FUCK” Eddie immediately freezes. The two younger Losers also freeze, locking eyes with the strange man. Richie recognizes him as one of the guys from the picture, the short guy next to the man that kinda reminds him of himself now that he thinks about it.

“Richie!” Eddie calls, panicked. He sees his thirteen year old self, he’s literally staring at himself. And a young Richie.

“Wait, Richie’s my name-“

Baby Richie is interrupted by his adult self running in. “Are you okay Eds- holy fucking shit” his eyes grow wide.

“You see them too, right?” Eddie sort of whispers. Richie nods.

“Yeah, yeah I do” he takes a few deep breaths. “This has to be fucking Pennywise.”

Their younger selves are completely freaked out at this point. Who are these strange men, why do they have the same names as them, how do they know about Pennywise-

“You guys know about him too?” baby Eddie whispers, looking terrified. Baby Richie instinctively puts his arms around him, as if to protect him.

“More important question, where the fuck are we?” baby Richie questions. This whole situation would probably be easier to work out if they had an idea of where the hell they were.

“Los Angeles, 2019” adult Eddie answers truthfully after some deep breathing.

“We’re in the fucking future?!” baby Eddie yells incredulously.

“Eddie, look, just calm down,” god it feels so weird addressing himself.

“And how do you know my name?!”

“Because I’m you, asshole! I’m you thirty years into the future!” The two nearly pass out from hearing that, and their adult selves aren’t too far behind.

The teenage counterparts are guided into the living room and sat down on the couch. Eddie paces back and forth nervously while Richie rubs his eyes, trying to make sure this isn’t some bizarre joint hallucination. He notices baby Eddie reaching for his inhaler in his fanny pack and says “Don’t do that!” a little more harshly than he means to.

“I need this right now-“

“No you don’t,” Eddie cuts his teenage self off. “It’s all bullshit, we were lied to. We don’t have asthma. You don’t need that fucking inhaler, put it down.”

Baby Eddie, stunned at this response, slowly sets the inhaler down. After taking a puff, because old habits die hard. He knew this deep down, but how did this random guy know that? 

“How do we even know you’re really our older selves?” baby Richie asks suspiciously, even though looking carefully at them and observing their mannerisms has him pretty convinced that they’re not lying.

“Ask us shit, anything, we’ll be able to tell you,” Richie offers.

“Who was my first kiss?” baby Eddie immediately starts with. Eddie scoffs. Of course his younger self would start with a trick question.

“Trick question, you don’t kiss anyone until you’re fifteen because at thirteen you’re still freaked out by the idea of someone else’s spit in your mouth,” Eddie watches as baby Eddie is taken aback by his answer.

He doesn’t tell his baby self that his first kiss was with Richie as an “experiment” while they were both so deep in the closet they were basically in Narnia, there’s no way he’d take it well. He was questioning at this point in his life, but he didn’t start coming to terms with his sexuality until he was about a year older than this Eddie. Also, talking about anything gay definitely wouldn’t go over well with this Richie either.

Speaking of baby Richie, he starts next. “Okay, now me, if you’re really my older self, how big is my-“

“Not fucking that!” Richie snaps, suddenly understanding the murderous looks people threw at him at that age. “Ask me something that I can answer without sounding like a pedophile.” Both Eddies giggle at this.

“Fine” baby Richie grumbles. He tries to think of another question, something really hard to answer. He starts to play with hem of his shirt, wishing he had-

“I can tell you right now that you’re messing with your shirt like that because you want a cigarette” Richie accurately tells him, remembering how he used to fidget like that when he had cravings. It was different than the fidgeting from his ADHD. It’s now baby Richie’s turn to be taken completely aback.

“Please tell me you quit smoking” baby Eddie scrunches his nose.

“He does for the most part” adult Eddie shoots Richie a pointed look. “Anyway, do you two believe us yet?”

Richie doesn’t pay attention to their answer because his phone starts buzzing in his pocket. “Hang on, it’s Bev, I gotta take this.” The kids’ eyes widen in unison for the millionth time when they see Richie’s cell phone. Richie slips out into the kitchen while Eddie starts trying to explain modern technology, even if he was getting old and starting to not understand some things completely himself.

Bev basically appointed Richie as her confidant for her anxiety about her pregnancy, since having a baby past forty is really risky. “Hey Bev,” Richie answers, expecting her to start talking about the latest of her frequent checkups with her doctor or a nightmare she had about the pregnancy going wrong.

“Hey Rich, um, I have to tell you something.” Richie furrows his brow, concerned. “So, Ben and I woke up this morning and we found, well, I don’t know how this happened or how to explain it, but we found-“

“Your thirteen year old selves randomly in your house? Yeah, us too” Richie can hear the very audible gasp from Bev. “So, do you have any idea what the dick this is about?”

“I don’t know, Ben’s on the phone with Mike. I think he has a young Mike in his place too” Bev lets out a nervous laugh. “But it’s so cute watching our younger selves awkwardly working out our feelings for each other while now knowing that we end up getting married. Have you guys told your younger selves that you’re-“

“No and we’re not going to” Richie interjects. He knows she’ll understand why.

“You’re not going to what?” baby Richie questions as he strolls into the kitchen. Eddie must have given them a green light to go exploring. “Get laid in your entire life?”

“Feed you to the sewers, but the day is still young and my patience with you wears thinner every time you open your mouth” Richie retorts. Baby Richie gives him a mock offended look, but Richie knows that he secretly loves that he’s managed to get on his adult self’s last nerves.

Bev giggles on the other line. “Sounds like you’re busy, I’ll call you later. Bye Rich.”

“Bye Bev” Richie puts his phone back in his pocket. Then it hits him. Shit.

“Eds, can I talk to you privately for a second?”

Eddie gives him a concerned look and follows him to their bedroom. Richie shuts the door behind them. “Okay, there’s no way we can tell them we’re married. At least not right now.” Eddie nods in agreement.

“Yeah, they’d fucking lose it.” They hide their wedding rings (which neither had bothered to put on yet since it was still pretty early in the day and they weren’t going anywhere) in the sock drawer and the framed wedding photo on the night stand in their closet. Richie definitely did not miss the chance to make the obvious jokes with that one.

There wasn’t anything else making it obvious that they were married in the house so they went back into the living room to find that the kids had already made themselves right at home. Typical.

“Oh my god, they make more Street Fighter games?” baby Richie exclaims after discovering adult Richie’s PS4.

“Yep, in the future you can procrastinate doing the things you need to do with video games from the comfort of your own home.” Baby Richie’s eyes light up when his adult self says this.

“Well who knows how the fuck long you’ll be here so you two might as well make yourselves comfortable” Eddie says, giving a pointed look at his younger self who is sprawled across the entire couch like he fucking owns it. At least he took his shoes off.

Richie feels himself start to play with the hem of shirt. Now would be a really good time for a cigarette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just really love time travel fics with the adult and kid Losers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Eddie and Richie get a taste of 21st century life.

Richie decides to sit with his younger self and try to teach him to play modern Street Fighter, which was almost like a cute father-son bonding moment, except with a lot more swearing. Baby Eddie was cracking up at his Richie failing at Street Fighter, and adult Richie wasn’t doing a good job of hiding his laughter either.

Eddie, feeling hot, went to go change out of his sweatshirt. And get some coffee, god knows he was gonna need his energy. He got about two minutes of peace before baby Eddie decided to go exploring and found him in the kitchen.

“When did I do this?!” baby Eddie shrieks, sounding absolutely scandalized.

It takes Eddie a couple moments of sipping his coffee and trying to figure out what his younger self is carrying on about before he realizes that he’s in a tank top now and his tattoos are semi visible. “Oh, the tattoos? Mid twenties, we have a bit of an early mid life crisis” he says nonchalantly, going back to his coffee.

Baby Eddie opens his mouth but is unable to form words. In the 80’s the only people in Derry with tattoos were “delinquents”, so the idea of his clean cut adult self having a couple on his chest is mind blowing to him.

He finally settles on “But like, why?” as a response. Eddie runs his hands through his hair. It was more or less his equivalent of a bachelor party, kind of a “last chance to do something crazy” thing, before he got married out of compulsion. Myra was just as shocked and mildly displeased as baby Eddie when she saw them on their wedding night.

“Um, how should I put this? In our mid twenties, we do something we regret doing even though we know we’re gonna regret it, so we get the tattoos before because... well I don’t really know, we just do, okay?” It’s not like he can tell his thirteen year old self that he gets married to a woman he doesn’t love and subjects himself to the same treatment he was looking to get away from with his mother. He can’t even tell him who he’s married to now.

Baby Eddie furrows his brow. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Thankfully, baby Richie pops in and saves Eddie from having to figure out how to get his younger self to stop asking questions.

“Holy shit Eds, you get tattoos?!” baby Richie’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull. Eddie can’t help but chuckle because that was basically the same reaction adult Richie had when he saw them for the first time.

“Yep. Younger me can’t believe it either.”

Richie steps closer, trying to get a better look at the ink. “Don’t ask me to take off my shirt, kid.”

“Wasn’t gonna!” baby Richie says almost too defensively. His cheeks flush slightly. “Why did you get them?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out” baby Eddie says. “But this asshole won’t tell me!”

“It’s for your own good. You saw Back to the Future, no one should know too much about their own future” Eddie says, ignoring the insult. “What happened to Street Fighter, baby Richie?”

Richie rolls his eyes at the nickname but tells him “I kept dying.” He takes a seat at the counter and is joined by baby Eddie.

Then adult Richie enters and the questions continue.

“So, why do you guys live together anyway?” baby Eddie asks.

“Well Eds, you had so much fun having sleepovers with me as a kid that you decided you had to do it permanently” Richie says, ruffling adult Eddie’s hair.

“Why the hell did you think that was a good idea?” baby Eddie says as he turns to his adult self.

“I ask myself that question everyday” he mumbles, which earns a satisfied grin from Richie. It takes all of Richie’s self control not to lean in to kiss his husband.

“What’s up with that picture I saw in the entry way?” is the next question, this time asked by baby Richie.

“Yeah, I kinda figured Richie would never grow out of wearing ugly Hawaiian shirts, but why am I?” baby Eddie adds.

“Oh, yowza! Spaghetti man gets off a good one-“ baby Richie’s cut off by baby Eddie’s hand covering his mouth. That is until Richie starts licking Eddie’s hand, which makes Eddie pull away with a disgusted yelp.

“We were at a wedding” Eddie quickly explains before his younger self has a complete episode.

“Beverly and Ben’s wedding” Richie adds. The kids’ eyes widen and they immediately rush to the picture.

“That’s Ben?” baby Eddie asks with a shocked look. “He looks completely different!”

“Holy shit, he’s, like, hot!” is baby Richie’s comment. Once again, Eddie can’t help laughing at the fact that baby Richie’s reaction is basically the same as his adult counterpart’s reaction. “I can’t believe they get fucking married! I always kinda thought it would be Bill and Bev.”

“Me too,” baby Eddie says while examining the picture. “So is that all of us?”

“Yep” Eddie moves over to point everyone out. “You see us over there next to Stan, and then there’s Mike, and then Bill-“

“Damn, what happened to Bill? Looks like life kicked his ass!”

“Shut up, Richie, look what happens to you when you get older.”

“Hey!” both Richies shout indignantly.

“So what do you guys do to afford this place anyway?” baby Richie begins to wander around. Richie remembers this, how restless he was before he got ADHD medicine. “It’s nice here.”

“Oh wow, I think that’s the first non insulting thing you’ve said the whole time you’ve been here” Eddie says dryly. Baby Eddie snickers at this. “I’m a risk analyst-“

“What the dick is that?”

“It means he gets paid to worry about things that could possibly go wrong” Richie answers his younger self, earning a deep sigh from both Eddies.

“And what do you do, adult Trashmouth?”

“Funny you say that actually, I’m a comedian” Richie watches baby Richie’s eyes light up when he says this. “People around the world like my trashmouth.”

“Really?” the kids say in unison, Eddie with confusion and Richie with delight. They both turn to adult Eddie for confirmation.

Eddie shrugs, “He’s not lying.” Baby Richie is positively beaming while baby Eddie, ever the skeptic, is insistent on more proof. So Richie shows them that he has a Netflix special, which blows the kids’ minds. He doesn’t actually show them the special, though, because he did it after he came out and there’s a lot of gay jokes that baby Richie isn’t ready to hear him tell the world.

“How bout that Eds” baby Richie elbows baby Eddie. “Let’s watch it!”

“No!” the two adults immediately protest, which confuses the kids. The two struggle to form a reason before baby Richie interjects with his own idea.

“They probably don’t want us to watch it so you don’t get jealous when I talk about how many ladies I get as an adult” Richie says, waggling his eyebrows and earning an eye roll from both Eddies.

“Yeah Richie” adult Richie says, trying to sound sarcastic but with a hint of sadness in his voice. “That’s why.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eddie totally has James Ransone’s chest tattoos. It’s canon and I won’t be told otherwise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie try to figure out what they need to do to get their baby selves back home, and how to keep them occupied in the mean time.

Mike calls later, which results in one of the most frustrating conversations Eddie’s ever had to endure.

“I’m sorry, are you telling me that we have to do another one of your insane fucking rituals?!” Eddie spats. “What does that have to do with the universe dropping our adolescent selves on our doorsteps?”

“Eddie, please, calm down” Mike sighs. He tries not to be too hard on Eddie, he can only imagine how stressful it is on him and Richie having to deal with both of their teenage selves.

Mike considers himself lucky that he only has his teenage self to deal with. Baby Mike is really nosy and curious about everything, which makes concentrating on his research about what the fuck is going on really hard, but he’s also kept quiet fairly easily once adult Mike gives him access to his home library. And of course, being able to just sit outside and enjoy the Florida sunshine helps to keep him occupied.

“If I have to go out on another fucking scavenger hunt and I run into some demon that vomits on me again I swear to god-” Eddie struggles to form a coherent thought, between trying to understand what Mike is saying and listening to the background noise of baby Richie and Eddie being themselves with their weird brand of teenage flirting.

“There are no tokens, I promise Eds, just listen to me, okay?”

Eddie nods, then remembers that Mike can’t see him and says “Okay” quietly.

“When we defeated Pennywise, the emotional turmoil we had from him started to go away, but it never fully went away. There’s still stuff from before Pennywise burried in our subconscious minds that we haven’t fully dealt with, which is why our past selves have been sent back to us. If we can help our teenage selves get over what was wearing on us before Pennywise, they’ll get sent back and we’ll all finally be healed.”

“That’s..” Eddie trails off. What the hell is he supposed to say to that? Was the therapy he was going to not enough? He supposes that therapy may not be entirely effective if he has to leave a good chunk of the story out to avoid being committed for talking about a demon clown that tried to murder him as a teenager. “So what, I have to talk to baby me about what’s going on with him?”

“If we all get together, help our younger selves together, then it should work.”

“Should?!” Eddie runs his hand down his face. “Ugh. Okay, fine Mike, just tell me what I need to do.”

“We all need to get together.”

“And how are we gonna do that? We all live in different parts of the country!”

The answer to that comes in the form of the Losers’ groupchat blowing up, now that they’re all aware of the presence of their baby selves. Everyone is spamming the chat with stories and pictures as well as attempts to coordinate getting together to send them back to wherever they came from.

They finally settle on all of the Losers coming out to LA, since with Bill also living in the area three of the seven Losers are already there. It’s good news for Eddie and Richie, since they now don’t have to endure the stress of traveling with the kids.

The bad news is that it’s gonna be about a week before everyone can get out there, which means they now have to somehow care for the kids for a week. Eddie’s not sure he can do this, it’s only been one long ass day and he’s already completely wiped out. He found himself suddenly grateful for the fact that he and Myra never ended up having the kids they used to talk about. He wasn’t sure he was gonna last a week of this.

By the third day of the kids being there, Richie and Eddie are going fucking insane. They’re walking on eggshells to keep from slipping up and revealing themselves. Baby Richie and Eddie share a guest room while Eddie sleeps in the other one, claiming it’s his room. He gets up early in the morning, way before the kids, to go and cuddle Richie because both of them would probably explode without it.

The kids are enthralled by modern technology and kept entertained fairly easily, but still, being cooped up in the house with two thirteen year olds is draining. Richie cringes every time his younger self makes a dick joke (which is often) and he considers sending each of the Losers a fruit basket for putting up with that for so long. And now that they’ve figured out how to use the internet, they’re googling cool things to do in LA and asking to go places.

“Guys come on, do you really want to spend forty minutes in traffic?” Richie tries to reason with them. It’s not that he wants to spend an entire week inside the house, but he doesn’t like the idea of going out too much with Eddie and their mini mes and increasing the odds of some assholes taking pictures. It’s hard enough with the clown shit, there’d be no good explanation for this.

Baby Richie and Eddie make it clear that they do not give a shit about the potential of creating an inexplicable internet conspiracy theory for adult Richie and Eddie to deal with, so Richie relents and agrees to take the kids to the beach. Since they already needed to go get the kids some more clothes so they’re not wearing the same shit for a week straight, they figure they could get them both bathing suits too and drive off to a little beach.

Eddie drives because even though he’s only lived here for about three years, no one’s better at navigating through heavy LA traffic than he is, especially with his road rage. Little Eddie is absolutely terrified while little Richie laughs his ass off every time Eddie curses at the other drivers. He practically cheers when Eddie rolls down his window to call someone a “fuckface who should have lost his license years ago.” Adult Richie tries to hide his amusement, because pissing Eddie off while driving is not a good idea. Baby Eddie is not aware of this fact.

“I’m sorry, you drive like a fucking maniac and people trust you to asses risks for a living?!”

“You’re not even tall enough to reach the pedals! We’ll talk when you get your fucking license!” Richie finally loses it at that.

The drive isn’t as painful as imagined because the kids spend most of the ride staring at the window, in pure awe of everything around them. After basically an hour, between getting the kids clothes and just driving, they get to a little beach. One benefit of Richie being in LA for almost twenty years is that he has a good idea of hidden gems within the area, places where it’s mostly locals and occasionally tourists who went on a deep Pinterest dive before coming. No one’s really gonna give a shit about them here.

“Who the fuck tattoos ‘No Dice’ on their fucking chest?” baby Eddie scoffs upon seeing his adult self shirtless, and therefore his tattoos in their entirety, for the first time.

“You when you’re twenty six, asshole” Eddie shoots back. Baby Eddie pouts, as though he disapproves greatly of his adult self’s life choices.

When they’re all changed, Richie and Eddie watch in awe as their younger selves dart onto the beach. They’ve been away for so long that they forgot how dull their hometown was. To two kids that hadn’t been more than an hour or so outside of Derry in their lives, being in Los Angeles was the most mindblowing thing. Eddie suddenly remembers that he didn’t even go to a beach until he was in college, so this is this Eddie’s first time ever on a beach.

Baby Eddie looks absolutely elated about his first time here, even when baby Richie splashes him with water. When they finally catch up with their kid selves in the water (they’re forty three years old now, they’re not going to run around everywhere like they did thirty years ago, thank you very much), baby Richie has already gotten knocked over by the waves and fallen on his face twice. It doesn’t help that he left his glasses in the car.

The kids cling to each other, Eddie because he’s scared of drowning and Richie because he can’t see, and their adult selves don’t fail to notice the longing glances they give each other when they think no one is looking.

“Were we really that obvious?” Richie whispers to Eddie.

“I guess,” he pauses, watching the two of them splash each other. “We should tell them.”

Richie nods. “When we get home.” The two finally join the kids in the water and immediately get splashed by baby Richie, who positively preens when adult Richie laments how annoying he used to be. Richie decides he’s definitely sending all the Losers fruit baskets.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie finally have the dreaded talk with the babies about their sexuality.

Richie, not really one for going in the water for too long since he can’t have glasses on, pulls out his phone. He scrolls through the most recent texts in the group chat, chuckling at a picture Bill sent of his baby self. He was in the process of finishing one of Bill’s earlier books and he was outright scowling at it.

There were also occasional texts of just random emojis baby Ben would send from his adult self’s phone because “the little pictures are cool.” He laughs at the way the adults respond to their kid versions’ antics.

“Adult me, why don’t you come back in the water with us?”

Startled, Richie drops his phone on himself. “Fuck, I will in a moment, alright baby me?”

Baby Richie groans. “I’m thirteen-“

“Right, my bad, fetus me.” If baby Richie was going to be a little shit to him, he was gonna do it right back. This earns him an eye roll from baby Richie. He sees that his past self isn’t going to move until he gets up and joins them, so puts his phone away and takes his shirt back off.

Baby Richie may not have his glasses, but he can still make things out if they’re close enough. And while he’s waiting on adult Richie, he notices a guy near them, probably barely twenty years old. He’s very tanned, with gorgeous black hair and dark eyes. From what Richie can make out of his stomach, he’s fairly toned too-

“Ready?” This time it’s baby Richie’s turn to be startled. Fear creeps in because he knows he was caught checking out this guy. He doesn’t think his older self would berate him for this, but he doesn’t know for sure. He’s probably disgusted when he looks back on when he was this age.

“Y-yeah, totally! I was just, um-“

“I know,” Richie says gently. Baby Richie’s face goes completely red.

“No, no, there was, uh, a hot girl there! Really big tits too, I don’t know how your blind ass missed her!” Richie insists. Adult Richie sighs. The big sexuality talk is going to happen right now, on this beach with strangers around. Fuck.

“Richie-”

“Look, I’m sorry you probably haven’t gotten laid in, like, forever, but you don’t have to try to keep me from checking out-“

“Richie.”

“What?” baby Richie whines, feeling defeated.

“I know,” adult Richie says softly. “I know you were looking at the guy. It’s okay.”

Richie can see tears practically forming in the poor kid’s eyes. “No! I don’t know what the fuck you’re on but I don’t look at guys like that! I’m not fucking gay!”

He feels his own tears forming, knowing exactly what‘s going on in the kid’s head right now. He does the best he can to suppress them, the kid doesn’t need to see himself as an adult crying.

“Honey, it’s okay.” He puts his hands on baby Richie’s shoulders. The baby wipes away tears that are starting to fall.

“I bet this is embarassing as fuck. I’m sorry I’m not fixed yet” he says quietly. Richie’s heart crumbles.

“Kid, look at me.” He waits until baby Richie makes eye contact with him. “You don’t get ‘fixed’ because there’s nothing fucking wrong with you, or me. This is how we were born and it’s okay. Fuck Bowers, fuck Derry and the stupid fucking clown, and any other asshole in this world who tries to make you feel otherwise.”

“So we’re- you’re still...?” He can’t even say the word out loud.

“Yes.”

Baby Richie pauses for a moment, and Richie swears it’s the longest he’s heard the kid be quiet aside from when he’s sleeping. “I really am gay” he squeaks out. 

“Yeah. And it’s hard, I know it’s hard. People in Derry in the 80’s are absolute shit. But you come to terms with it when you’re older and when you do, you tell Mom and Dad and the Losers, and they love you all the same.” He squeezes baby Richie’s shoulders. It takes awhile before he responds.

“So your Eddie knows.”

“Yeah.” Right on cue, he realizes both of the Eddies are standing there, both visibly concerned.

“What do I know? What does older me know?” baby Eddie starts questioning the second the Richies make eye contact.

“We noticed you guys from the water and came to see if everything was okay” adult Eddie says softly. He can tell that the kid had been crying. “You told him, didn’t you?”

“I had to,” Richie says in a similar tone. Eddie smiles softly at the kid.

“It’s gonna be alright, Rich.” The kid just nods.

Baby Eddie groans impatiently. “We’ll talk about this when we get home,” Eddie reassures him.

Baby Richie is quiet for pretty much the rest of the time at the beach. He knows that Eddie won’t be disgusted with him for being gay, he has living proof of that right in front of his eyes. He’s more afraid of Eddie finding out his feelings for him and being disgusted by that.

He still can’t believe it. One day he actually tells people what he’s been hiding, his dirty little secret, and they’re okay with it. When he has another moment with just his adult self, he’s gonna ask how he deals with living with someone he’s in love with. For now he just enjoys swimming and occasionally splashing Eddie.

Baby Eddie is nervous for the rest of the day. Something’s clearly bothering his Richie and there’s something that everyone but him knows. There’s not much talk in the car, the kids drift off to sleep for most of it because they wore themselves out in the ocean.

When they finally get home and adult Eddie pulls him aside, all of baby Eddie’s patience is gone. “So what’s going on?”

Eddie takes a deep breath. “Well, the Richies needed to talk about something important and now I need to talk to you about something important. About what’s been bothering you deep down.” He gives a look and baby Eddie instantly knows what he means.

“You- you know about...” baby Eddie waves his hand in place of saying it out loud.

“Of course I know, I’m you, remember. I know what starts troubling you when you turn thirteen.”

“We don’t want to kiss or have sex with girls like all the other guys keep talking about because we think it’s weird and disgusting?” baby Eddie mumbles quietly.

“Yes. And,” the kid visibly winces when adult Eddie says “and.” “Who we think about kissing instead.”

“Boys,” he whispers, as though it’s a dirty word, before he says “Richie.” Eddie nods.

“But I’m not really, uh, that way, am I? I mean, all boys do this right? I’m not sick, right?”

Eddie feels like he’s been punched. His heart hurts for the kid, he forgot how awful interalized homophobia is. “No, you’re not sick, because this isn’t a sickness. There isn’t a fucking thing wrong with this.”

Baby Eddie’s eyes widen. “B-but, it is! We watch everything on the news about AIDS and how people who are like this get it and then they become sicker-“

“That’s not how this works,” Eddie says firmly. “When we were growing up people were misinformed. They thought the only people who get AIDS are gay men when that’s not true and they thought being gay was a sickness when it’s not.”

“But that’s, I mean, how do we know that for sure?”

“Well, I’m gay but I’m not sick and I don’t have AIDS.” He figured he needed to get it over with and just fucking say it. “There’s nothing wrong with us.”

If baby Eddie’s eyes widened when Eddie implied it earlier, they’ve just about popped out of his skull now. “We’re actually gay?”

“We’re actually gay,” Eddie nods. Baby Eddie is dumbfounded by how nonchalant he’s being about this. People in the future really are okay with people like him? “And there’s nothing sick or disgusting about it, and the important people in your life don’t see you as any less.”

“E-even Richie?”

“Especially Richie. Here, come with me.”

Baby Eddie is more confused than ever about what’s going on, but he follows his adult self to join the Richies in the master bedroom. “Are we good?” adult Richie asks. Adult Eddie gives an affirmative nod.

“Is this gonna be more about, you know?” Eddie can’t say the word, not in front of Richie. This is a kid who talks about women constantly and still gets picked on for being gay, the last thing he probably wants is to find out that his best friend is gay and in love with them.

“About our sexualities, yes” Richie confirms. It takes a moment before it clicks for the boys. “Our” sexualities.

“Holy shit Eddie, you’re gay too?!” he blurts out. He covers his mouth with his hand after realizing what he just said.

The two stare at each other. “Yes, both of you are gay,” Richie interrupts, since it’s obvious both of them aren’t going to say anything and this conversation needs to finish. “According to the great Micycle,” Eddie rolls his eyes at this. Of course Richie can only be serious for so long. It works in his favor, though, because the kids seem to relax at his joking. “The reason you guys are here is because there’s shit that was going on way before Pennywise happened that we haven’t really dealt with. Shit we have to confront. And for you guys, part of that shit is your sexuality.”

To the relief of both adults, the kids don’t really look that upset when they mention it this time. Like they’re starting to accept themselves. Richie can’t help but wonder how different things might have gone if he’d had just one adult talk to him like this.

“So wait, if both of you are gay and you’re roommates, are you...” baby Richie trails off, but the adults know what he’s implying.

“No, we aren’t just roommates,” Richie confesses. “We didn’t want to tell you until you two were ready.”

“So, you two are like, together?” baby Eddie asks. The two look up at them expectantly. They want the confirmation that they don’t have to hide their feelings for each other anymore, and that they can hold hands and kiss and just be together like they want.

The adults nod. “Married,” adult Richie adds simply. The kids’ jaws are on the floor.

“That.. that’s allowed?” baby Richie practically whispers in disbelief.

“Legal in all fifty states, kid” Richie affirms. To further the point, Eddie goes into the sock drawer and pulls out their matching gold bands. He slips his on while Richie holds his so the kids can get a closer look and see the R + E inscribed on that. Baby Richie blushes profusely.

“What?” baby Eddie asks him.

“I carved that on the Kissing Bridge over the summer” Richie says quietly, visibly embarassed.

“Don’t worry, Rich, he ends up liking you back” Eddie quips, making both of the kids blush. “But anyway, are you guys okay?”

“Yeah,” baby Eddie takes a deep breath. Eddie can tell he wants his inhaler, which is exactly why he stole it from his old fanny pack and hid it. Better that he kicks the habit for good now.

Baby Richie wraps an arm around baby Eddie, his usual boisterous personality back. “What do you say about that Eds?” his awful British accent is also back. “You get to spend the rest of your life with me!”

Baby Eddie looks adult Eddie directly in the eye. “We’re absolutely sure this is the one we want?”

“Positive, love” adult Richie says with a shit eating grin in a better practiced British accent.

Both versions of the couple spend the rest of the evening uninhibited. The kids made faces whenever their adult selves would kiss, even though they were glued to each other even more than usual. Eddie would give an exasperated reminder that, “We’re you, dumbass!” whenever one of them would protest to the adult couple showing affection.

After awhile, the extremely exhausted Richie and Eddie insisted that it was time for bed.

“Are you gonna make us sleep in seperate rooms?” baby Eddie asks, still holding his Richie’s hands.

“No,” Richie says. “Just don’t do anything stupid!” he calls after they run off to their shared guest room.

“We don’t even have any lube!” baby Richie calls back, which earns a distressed whine of “Richie!” from his Eddie.

Richie and Eddie grimace at each other, knowing exactly how well their kid selves are gonna listen. “At least we finally get to share a bed again,” Richie tries to be optimistic. “Now come on, I feel fucking dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this was hard to write!! I revised and rewrote things so many times because I wasn’t entirely sure how I wanted to go about this. I wanted to make it sound like a real conversation, not rushed, but I also didn’t want to drag it on too long. I also tried to write the kids’ reactions to it based on what they feared- Richie being scared of being bullied and harassed for it (again) and Eddie being scared of AIDS because of his hypochondria and also because it was the 80s. Also being bisexual myself, I teared up a little writing the kids’ internalized homophobia because I know how hard accepting yourself can be- even if I didn’t have as hard of a time with it as the boys. (That probably sounds stupid lol.) But it’s all over now- onto more time travel shenanigans and fun!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids meet up with the Bills.

Richie wakes up to a text from Bill: **Want to meet up for ice cream later with your kid selves? 13 year old me is driving me fucking insane and I need to get him out of the house.**

 **Great idea. Eddie's working today so I have the fetuses by myself today.** God, he feels like a dad. Bill texts him the address of a place that’s a reasonable distance for both of them and then he waits until the boys get up- which he knows happens when he can hear them arguing on their way to the kitchen.

“Gross, Richie, brush your fucking teeth first!”

“Aw come on. Can’t I give my boyfriend a little kiss first thing in the morning?” baby Richie pinches his cheek.

“You know I hate that,” baby Eddie scowls. “Where’s adult me?” he asks, looking around.

“Good morning to you too,” Richie mumbles dryly from his coffee cup. “He had to go into the office today.” Even though Eddie mostly worked from home, he sometimes had to go to meetings and such in the office. Richie definitely didn’t miss the opportunity to tease Eddie about how hot he looks in his suits before he left.

“Just us Richies today!” baby Richie shouts gleefully, punctuated with another cheek pinch. Baby Eddie contemplates biting his hand off.

“Don’t kill each other, I’m gonna take you guys to get ice cream and see the Bills later.” The kids’ eyes light up at being told they would be able to see one of their friends again, as well as the opportunity to explore more of Los Angeles.

“Big Bill! I’ve missed him.”

“Me too, Bigger Bill is probably like eight feet tall by now” Richie quips as he starts raiding the pantry for cereal.

“Nope, Bigger Bill is actually shorter than adult Eddie.” Also he was definitely gonna start calling Bill “Bigger Bill” now.

“Well that’s good news for you, Spaghetti Man!” baby Richie grins as he starts making bowls of cereal for himself and Eddie. “You narrowly miss being the smallest guy in the group as an adult.”

“Does teenage you happen to have an off button that I don’t know about?” baby Eddie asks adult Richie.

“And to think I’m going through the trouble of making you breakfast,” baby Richie says with mock offense.

Richie notices an incoming call and excuses himself outside while the babies eat. He’s going to be doing this all day all by himself and it’s been way too fucking long since he’s had a cigarette. He hangs out on a chair on the porch, cigarette in one hand and phone in the other as he talks to a slightly frazzled Ben. According to him, things have been kinda rough with the Bevs.

“One’s going through nicotine withdrawal and the other’s doing it while pregnant so they’re both a bit snippy. Kid me’s been discovering more boy bands so he just kinda uses that to tune them out,” Ben explains, chuckling nervously. “But other than that, it’s great having them here. I think Beverly and I are definitely gonna be more prepared when our baby is born after this.”

“Okay one, that’s adorable and you two are gonna be the best parents ever,” Richie takes a couple more puffs, “And two, this whole experience is really fucking me up. It’s so weird seeing my kid self flirt with my kid husband. Like some weird out of body experience I had while trying something at a party when I first moved to LA.”

Ben laughs a little, “Yeah, Bev and I feel the same way watching our kid selves. She thinks it’s cute though, she keeps catching kid me looking at our wedding pictures in disbelief.”

“I’m pretty sure kid me and kid Eddie are still not entirely convinced that gay marriage is actually legal and something that’s generally accepted.” Richie finishes off his cigarette. He reaches for a second one but decides against it. Both Eddies really do want him to quit, after all.

“I’m just worried that even with this, Bev and I won’t know what the hell to do when the baby actually comes,” Ben confesses. Richie can hear the nervousness in his voice, not that the little shaky laughs were doing much to hide it. “She’s sixteen weeks along now, that doesn’t even sound real.”

“It’s very real and it’s well deserved,” Richie reassures him. “We’ve all been through way too much shit, we all deserve to be happy. We’re gonna get rid of the last of whatever this magical bullshit curse is that’s looming over us and then you and Bev are gonna be the best parents.”

“Thanks Richie,” Ben says, and Richie can picture the little grateful smile on his face. The two chat for a bit more before Richie remembers that he’s left baby him and Eddie unsupervised in his house for almost thirty minutes now.

To his relief, he doesn’t come back to find anything broken or to any traumtizing situation that could happen from leaving two massively hormonal teenagers that recently got a green light to be together alone. Instead he finds the two of them on his couch, still struggling with trying to figure out modern Street Fighter.

The kids notice him, and baby Eddie scrunches up his nose. “Were you smoking outside?”

“It’s my house, kid,” Richie rolls his eyes. “Adult you doesn’t even complain this much about living with me.”

Baby Eddie brushes this off. He’s too busy watching baby Richie‘s frantic button mashing while he tries to avoid getting his ass kicked by his opponent. Richie decides to hang out for awhile and watch.

He feeds the kids a small lunch before they leave so they have something in them besides ice cream, and then they head off.

Even with the amount of very visibly queer people just existing openly in Los Angeles, the kids still are too scared to even hold hands when they step out of the car. Being somewhere like Derry your entire life really fucks with you. Richie knows this, and he cringes while briefly remembering how fucking frightening everything was for him as a teenager.

“Seriously, you guys can hold hands. It’s okay,” he says quietly while herding them in the right direction to get to the place. He walks behind him because he doesn’t trust the odds of shit not going wrong if he were to have them follow.

Baby Eddie’s hand hovers over baby Richie’s for a bit more before he finally takes it. They stop holding hands once they go inside.

“Big Bill! Bigger Bill!” baby Richie says with delight when he sees the two sitting at a booth. Baby Bill immediately jumps up to pull his Eddie and Richie into a group hug.

“Richie! Eddie! God, I m-missed you guys s-so m-much.”

Adult Richie and Bill exchange smiles. It’s heartwarming to see their kid selves so happy to be spending time together. “How’ve you been doing, Rich?” Bill pulls Richie into a little hug before Richie slides into the booth next to him.

“I’m doing alright, Bigger Bill, what about you?”

“I guess that’s m-my name now?” Bill chuckles. “Things are kinda rough but I’m okay.” The kids are happily chattering about their thoughts on 2019.

“How’s the kid been doing?” Richie gestures to baby Bill, who is excitedly recounting a story to the other babies. Bill sighs.

“Like my dad would say, a good kid, but t-too rambunctious for his own good. I m-mean I was never as bad as you,” he gives Richie a playful elbowing. “But fuck, I had a real s-smart m-mouth wh-when I wanted to.”

“At least you only have one to take care of,” Richie mutters. “We came out the fetuses and got them comfortable with being gay but baby me still keeps making jokes about fucking Eddie’s mom. I want to sew his mouth shut every time he does.”

“Adult you keeps m-making jokes about fucking Eddie’s m-mom” Bill points out. Richie gives him a look.

“But our kid versions are so fucking difficult,” Richie groans.

“Feel bad for your parents, yet?”

“Yep.”

“Yeah, m-me t-too,” Bill sighs.

The kids all cram into the other side of the booth. Baby Eddie is practically sitting on baby Richie’s lap to make room for the three of them.

“Charmed to be sitting here with critically acclaimed author William Denbrough!” baby Richie chirps in his awful British accent, sliding an arm around baby Bill.

“Joined by the world famous comedian Richard T-Tozier,” baby Bill rolls his eyes playfully. “Adult me sh-showed me s-some of your work, I didn’t realize your jokes could actually get worse.” The Richies protest at the same time.

“That’s Richard ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier to you, Sir Shitty Endings,” baby British Richie corrects.

“That was before I wrote my own material,” adult Richie points out.

“No, he sh-showed me your recent sh-shit t-too” baby Bill clarifies. Adult Bill and baby Eddie snicker.

“It’s amazing how fucking dense we were as kids,” Richie marvels.

“You kids better start being nicer to us if you want us to buy you ice cream,” Bill adds, only being half serious.

“I’ve got like three dollars anyway,” baby Eddie shrugs.

Adult Richie and Bill can’t contain their laughter as they explain to the kids that the price of ice cream has increased over the course of thirty years. The children look outright offended to learn that three dollars won’t get them much of anything in 2019.

When they finally get the kids ice cream, Richie insists on paying since Bill’s still wrapping up his divorce with Audra and he’s got some shit to sort out financially. Bill rolls his eyes but doesn’t object. Richie gets the kids a sundae to share. Baby Eddie looks especially excited to indulge in something like this without the fear of his batshit mom popping up and scolding him for it. He also gets shakes for himself and Bill after they decide they don’t care how their adult digestive systems will punish them for it later.

There’s a nice bit of peace and quiet as the kids fucking devour their ice cream. A girl who doesn’t look much older than the kids shyly comes up to Bill and asks him for a picture, to which he obliges. Richie insists on photobombing their selfie, claiming it will make it “worth more.” The kids watch in awe. If the girl noticed them, she thankfully didn’t say anything.

“Holy shit,” baby Richie mumbles after the coast is clear. “People really do like your books, Billiam.”

“The childhood t-trauma pays off wh-when you s-start writing it down” Bill tells his baby self. Baby Bill is intrigued.

“Wh-what do M-mom and Dad think?”

“They’re really proud of us,” Bill tells him, which makes baby Bill positively preen.

“Man, you guys get really cool jobs and I end up with a job that doesn’t even sound like it’s real,” baby Eddie laments. Baby Richie gives him a sympathetic pat.

“It’s okay Eds, you still become a hot trophy husband as an adult.” Baby Eddie scowls at this while baby Bill just rolls his eyes.

“Don’t call me Eds!” Adult Richie barely hides his smirk. Some things never change; just like his Eddie, this one only complained about being called Eds if they were with other people.

“Wh-where is adult Eddie anyway?”

“He had to go into work today, so now I’m enjoying being a stay at home dad,” adult Richie sarcastically answers. Baby Richie and Eddie instinctively plaster faux-angelic smiles on their faces. “Hot trophy husbands still have to work sometimes, too.”

When it’s time to go home, the kids are very reluctant to leave each other. Richie reassures his kids that they’ll be returned to be their timeline and their friends soon and it will all be good again. Except maybe this time things will turn out better because they’re learning from their older selves’ mistakes. He wants to tell them that they should be proud to hold hands and be together no matter where they are, Derry in the 80s or LA in almost 2020 or anywhere else at anytime. He wanted to tell them this in the ice cream parlor while they were holding back from being affectionate, tell them that both Bills love them no matter what and they don’t need to hide in front of him or any other Loser. He wants to tell them this now as they’re still struggling to hold hands on the sidewalk. But he can’t find the words, so he just settles for striking up a simple conversation with them about how they like it here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this took wayyyy longer to write than it should have. why? good question. my mental health has been in the trash but i’m hoping to get back into the swing of things with writing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nice evening at home with the Reddies.

Richie decides a few hours later that maybe the boys actually have accepted themselves and embraced their relationship when he sees baby Eddie wearing a shirt that was bought for baby Richie. His Eddie “borrows” some of his shirts and hoodies, but there’s something extra adorable about seeing baby Eddie do the same thing.

“What?” baby Eddie asks after catching Richie smirking at him.

“Nothing, adult you steals my clothes so it’s just cute seeing you do it too.”

“I’m not cute” baby Eddie protests right as baby Richie approaches them. He notices the shirt instantly.

“Aww Eds,” he pinches his cheek. “You’re wearing my clothes! You’re so cute.”

“I’m not fucking cute!” baby Eddie flushes bright red.

“Cute, cute, cute!” baby Richie‘s grin grows wider. “Aw come on, babe, I’d wear some of your clothes.”

“And how‘s your gangly ass gonna pull that off?” adult Richie asks, amused.

“It could work!” baby Richie insists. “You’re telling me we don’t steal some of Eddie’s clothes as an adult?”

“You see how short Eddie is compared to me, right?”

“You see that Eddie is also right behind you, right?” Eddie deadpans, going up to join their conversation. The other three turn to face him. He notices his baby self and adds “Nice shirt, kid.”

“Isn’t baby you just adorable in baby me’s clothes?” Richie coos before giving Eddie a kiss. The kids grimace.

“It’s like watching our parents kiss,” baby Richie complains. “It’s gross.”

“We’re you, you little shits” Eddie says, exasperated. “How’s it gross?”

The kids shrug. “It’s because we’re old, babe,” Richie tells him sarcastically.

“Looks like adult you actually can wear something other than weird, dorky polos,” baby Richie says to his Eddie, gesturing to adult Eddie’s suit.

“You sure you wanna keep talking shit, Hawaiian boy?” Eddie spats, imitating baby Richie’s gestures to point to his Hawaiian shirt. Baby Richie just giggles.

“Anything’s better than seeing those fucking tattoos,” baby Eddie mumbles.

“I’m going to go shower,” Eddie rolls his eyes, defeated, and saunters off to the bathroom in his and Richie’s room.

“I’m gonna make us all some spaghetti for dinner,” Richie calls after him. Baby Richie gasps, covering baby Eddie’s ears.

“Adult me! You can’t do that, that’s cannibalism.”

Richie only laughs because the look baby Eddie gives is downright murderous.

Dinner is pretty mundane compared to a lot of their other interactions, with the kids excitedly recounting their time with the Bills to Eddie. Richie’s heart can’t help but melt slightly at seeing how Eddie is with the kids. When they aren’t arguing or exchanging petty insults, Eddie’s found he likes having them around.

The rest of the evening is pretty pleasant as well, watching movies and listening to the kids’ opinions and commentary until the adults can barely keep their eyes open. When they finally crawl into bed, Richie turns to face Eddie, who looks worn out but nonetheless excited to be spending some alone time with his husband.

“So I never got to ask, how was the meeting?” Richie sees the passion flicker in Eddie’s chocolate eyes as he launches into one of his rants. As usual, he can barely make out what Eddie is saying because he’s talking at a hundred miles per hour. It doesn’t matter though, because Eddie rambling is oddly cute and endearing.

“-Of course, we wouldn’t have these problems if people knew how to do their fucking jobs! These fuckers took up all of my day to tell me shit I already know. They had to go over everything like twice just so everyone got the point,” he sighs, the tired look returning to his face. “You’re lucky you don’t have a real job.”

“The luckiest” Richie chuckles, planting a kiss on Eddie’s forehead. Eddie burries his face in Richie’s chest as the taller man’s arms wrap around him. It hits him just how tired he is, how tired they both are. Being tired from having jobs and taking care of a house and just being an adult are things they’re very used to, but things are even more exhausting now that the kids have been thrown in the mix. He doesn’t even know how that’s possible since it’s only themselves as thirteen year olds, but it is.

He strokes Eddie’s freshly washed hair, taking in the scent of strawberries from his shampoo. He could fall asleep right now and was probably going to. Usually they didn’t fall asleep cuddling, but it just felt so good to be in bed together after a long day. Eddie was already drifting off and Richie wasn’t too far behind him.

“G’night Eds,” Richie mumbles. “Love you.”

“Love you too Rich,” Eddie says while yawning. The two fall asleep together, feeling complete bliss.

The kids, of course, are inclined to stay up much later. Baby Richie is raiding his adult self’s collection of vintage comic books that he “borrowed” when baby Eddie reaches into his pocket. “Hey Richie, look what I found in their bathroom earlier,” he holds up a bottle of bright green nail polish.

“Why the fuck do they have nail polish? Neither of them have painted nails.”

“No idea. They had a couple other colors in their cabinet too. I guess we get in touch with our feminine sides?”

Richie shrugs as a response. “So why’d you take it?”

“I wanna try painting my nails,” Eddie inhales, expecting Richie to make fun of him for it. He doesn’t.

“You want me to paint them for you?”

“You’re not gonna laugh?”

“Nah, I’ve seen some shit on the internet. Apparently men in 2019 even wear full faces of makeup. It’s kinda weird but kinda cool, actually.”

The two set up so that Eddie is sitting on the floor (with some paper towels on his lap) and Richie is facing him. He nervously dips the brush in the bottle. “I just don’t wanna spill anything,” he confesses. “Adult you seems like he’d be really anal about stuff like this.” Eddie huffs at this, but doesn’t deny it. “I mean, among other things related to anal that you-“

“Richie!”

Richie takes Eddie’s left index finger and begins to paint. Eddie makes a face when the polish hits his nail for the first time.

“Fuck, that feels weird.”

“Beauty is pain,” Richie mutters, concentrating deeply on making this as neat as possible. He moves on to Eddie’s middle finger.

The two sit in an awkward silence before Richie, never fond of going too long without talking, clears his throat. “Well Eddie Spaghetti, what do you think of your lifetime subscription to the Richie Tozier Boyfriend Experience?”

“Do you have to call it that?”

“You gotta admit I’m a great boyfriend. I’m even painting your nails and giving you all my clothes.”

“We’re like Finn and Poe,” Eddie grins. After the four of them binging the new Star Wars movies and throwing a lot of opinions around, one thing that everyone agreed on was that Finn and Poe were meant to be together.

“Yeah, I’m the dashing pilot who gifts you my clothes,” Richie moves on to the right hand. “And you’re the adorable Stormtrooper escaping the oppressive reign of Derry. We’ll see later on if the Resistance can stand up to the dreaded Sonia the Hutt.”

Eddie groans and rolls his eyes. “And you ruined it.” Richie’s devilish grin only grows wider as he tries not to burst out laughing at his own joke.

“Speaking of sharing clothes, what do I have to do to get you to wear one of my Hawaiian shirts, hot stuff?”

Eddie scoffs. “Not in a million years. I can’t believe you still wear them as an adult.”

“Adult you still wears dorky ass polos” Richie points out. “Besides, it’s fun watching you dress up in my clothes since I can’t fit into any of your smol boi clothes.” Thanks to adult Eddie teaching them how the internet works, the two were becoming well versed in modern teenage slang. Richie finishes up with Eddie’s right thumb.

“Alright, check out your hideously neon green nails!”

Eddie smiles down at his hands. He tries his best not to move them too much. “Wow, they actually look good. Thanks.” He leans in and gives Richie an appreciative, if slightly awkward, kiss. Richie gives a soft smile. He still blushes slightly every time he kisses Eddie.

“So what do you want to do for, like, twenty minutes while your nails dry?”

“Damn, is it really gonna take that long?”

Richie leans forward and blows on his nails before looking up at him with a smirk. “Y’know this isn’t the only kind of blowing I do-“

“Rich, no. Not here.” Richie nods and goes back to trying to dry Eddie’s nails. Deep down they both knew that this wasn’t gonna last forever, for the time being anyway, so two spent the night relishing being with each other, being in 2019 and completely free in the future selves’ house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both versions of Reddie get a nice evening at home because it’s what they deserve, fuck Pennywise.  
> Also I fucking love Star Wars.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arrangements are made and conversations are had.

Arrangements are finally made. The remaining Losers will be there in a week; Mike and Stan will stay with Bill, and Bev and Ben will stay with Richie and Eddie. The kids, naturally, are excited to be reunited with their friends, and even more so at the thought of meeting them as adults.

“What’s adult Stan like?” baby Richie asks at breakfast. “I mean, he’s already basically eighty at thirteen so by the time he’s your age he’s gotta be like a thousand!”

“I wanna see how adult Mike is,” baby Eddie cuts in, not even giving the adults time to respond to baby Richie. “He’s probably got, like, a million stories about living in Florida.”

“He only recently got the fuck out of Derry, but he’s more than making up for lost time with his Florida stories,” Richie tells him. “Last time we all got together he regaled us with stories about the local Floridian crackheads. Pretty sure the whole damn state is on some shit.” The kids look confused.

“Why would he stay in Derry?”

“He stayed in case Pennywise came back,” adult Eddie says solemnly. “And It did, like we told you. We wouldn’t have been able to beat It without Mike.” The babies knew that the Losers all reunited after years of not talking and beat Pennywise for good, but the adults didn’t go into detail. The kids really didn’t want to know anyway, still traumatized from doing it once.

“He stayed behind just for us?” baby Eddie’s dark eyes grow wide with a mixture of shock and sadness.

“Yeah. He’s the best” Richie says. Eddie nods in agreement. “Don’t be sad, guys, we’re all doing well now and Penis-wise is long gone.”

“Penis-wise!” baby Richie groans. “I can’t believe I never thought of that one!” Baby Eddie rolls his eyes.

“You can see how his comedy matures over time” Eddie adds sarcastically before giving a small kiss to his delighted Richie. “And to answer your question, baby Richie, adult Stan is exactly like he was as a kid.”

“I knew it,” baby Richie brags, not even bothering to protest being called a baby anymore.

“Oh shit, speaking of Stan, he’s Facetiming me now,” Richie holds up his phone to show Eddie.

“Show the kids” adult Eddie giggles. Richie answers, not bothering to hide his shit eating grin as the babies exchange a confused look.

“Stan the man!” he says gleefully, lowering his phone so the kids can see adult Stan. “Say hi to baby us.”

“Hi kid Richie, kid Eddie,” adult Stan says with a small wave. The kids’ response is to stare at him as if he were doing something on Pennywise’s level of bizarre magical bullshit. The adults, Stan included, burst out laughing at their looks of utter confusion and slight terror. Baby Eddie looks like he’s about to scream, but unable to move his mouth. It’s fucking priceless.

Baby Richie, ever the eloquent conversationalist, simply shouts, “What the FUCK is that?” while gesturing to an amused Stan. Adult Eddie doubles over with laughter.

“What the fuck is that shirt you’re wearing?” adult Stan shoots back, looking at the Hawaiian shirt with pink flamingos that the adults bought baby Richie from the summer clearance section. The Richies insisted it was perfect while the Eddies practically gagged. “Eds, I told you, you’ve got to stop encouraging Richie’s awful fashion sense.”

“It was seven dollars and a total find” adult Richie insists while his teenage counterpart is taken aback after seeing an adult Stan on a screen talk to him and then insult his clothes. “So, what can I do for you Stan?”

“I was gonna see if you wanted to talk, but you seem like you have your hands full. I forgot that both of you were complete shits in middle school.”

“I’m not even that bad,” baby Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Yes you fucking are,” Eddie scolds. The baby gives him an indignant look.

“Is our Stan around?” baby Richie asks, ignoring the tension between the Eddies. Adult Stan nods.

“Stan! Come say hi to Richie and Eddie.” Richie hands his phone to baby Eddie (his younger self would absolutely drop it) and smiles when he sees the kids’ faces light up at seeing baby Stan.

“Hey guys!” Richie hears baby Stan gleefully chirp from his phone. The kids, much like with baby Bill, excitedly share their thoughts and opinions on where they are and what their futures are like. Richie mostly tunes them out, until he hears his baby self say-

“God, how did you two end up with the boringest careers ever?”

“Most boring,” baby Stan corrects him. “And fuck off, accounting is a respectable career. You get paid to tell your shit jokes to a slightly larger audience.”

“Tell him, Stan,” adult Eddie quips from the table, drinking one of his weird ass nutrition shakes that Richie will never admit to actually enjoying.

The kids ignore him. “But people around the world like my trashmouth!” baby Richie insists. Adult Richie finds it cute that his baby self parrots what he said when he first told the kids about his job. Too bad the baby ruins it about ten seconds later.

It starts with baby Stan marvelling at the concept of smart phones. The other kids agree with him.

“I’ve been trying to figure adult me’s phone out, there’s a lot to it. This shit’s a lot to understand,” baby Richie says.

“Don’t go through my phone, asshole,” adult Richie grumbles. “I have a lot of shit on there. You’re thirteen, you don’t need to see everything I do as an adult yet.”

“I already went through your phone and saw the nudes you and your Eddie send,” baby Richie tells him flatly. Adult Richie can tell the dipshit’s trying his hardest not to grin like an idiot at his own joke.

Adult Eddie turns bright red and promptly leaves the room. Baby Eddie and Stan try to stifle laughter, not doing that great of a job. Adult Stan does a slightly better job, not that that’s saying much. Richie, who is definitely flushing, snatches his phone from the baby.

“And that’s enough phone for you,” he grumbles.

“Let me have my phone back too,” Stan tells his baby self. The baby obliges. “On another less traumatizing note, I have something exciting to tell you.”

“Alright, let me go in another room for privacy,” he puts emphasis on the last word and sends a glare at baby Richie, who shrugs.

“Not my fault you decide to brag about your dick visually.” Adult Richie wants to bash his skull in.

He wanders into his bedroom, ignoring Stan’s laughter. “So what’s up?”

Stan takes a deep breath. “Patty and I are thinking of adopting.” The joy in his voice is unmistakable and he looks the happiest Richie had seen him in awhile, which in turn makes Richie happy.

“Stan, that’s great! You and Patty are gonna be kick ass parents.” Richie had only met Patty a couple times, but everyone could see she was a perfect match for Stan. Of course they’d be great parents.

“We always wanted kids but we could never have any, and with Bev and Ben finally being able to have kids and getting to spend time with my teenage self, it made us realize how much we really want this.”

“Damn, how’d you luck out with a kid version of yourself that’s actually pleasant?”

“Well, people always called me an old soul-“

“That was their polite way of saying that you had no serotonin left by the time you hit puberty, Staniel.”

“Fuck off Richie,” Stan flips him off, but he’s laughing. “I know you were annoying as hell as a kid, but I can’t imagine it’s that bad for you and Eddie.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s not that bad.” Baby Richie and Eddie were really starting to grow on him and when they weren’t being little shits, he really found himself enjoying time with them. “Man, all you guys get to have fun with your kid selves and Eddie and I get bickering by two lovesick idiots, jokes about Eddie’s mom, and zero privacy.”

“Karma’s a bitch, huh Richie?” Stan smirks. “Besides, it’s not all sunshine and roses here. My teenage self has already started going through depression and, my god, is he depressed. But he insists nothing’s wrong and it’s frustrating because I’m him and I know exactly what’s wrong.”

Richie suddenly feels bad for making the joke about Stan having no serotonin and decides to skip on making a joke about Stan being a hundred years old for saying “sunshine and roses.” “Yeah. It sucks you can’t get him a therapist or anything because you’re not his dad and he’s not gonna be here for that long.”

“I know,” Stan says wistfully. “Patty and I just tell him that we’re here for him and he can talk to us about anything.”

Richie and Eddie don’t directly say it, but the kids can talk to them about anything. He thinks they know that. He hopes they know that.

“Aw, why don’t you go spend time with your kid self? Maybe do something to cheer him up.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna go birdwatching. I’ll talk to you later, Richie.”

“Send pictures to the group chat!” Richie insists before adding, “Bye Stan.”

He ends the call and contemplates everything Stan said. He decides he’s going to go do something fun with the kids, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: People used to call me an old soul as a kid too lmao. I love the idea of the kids freaking out at the concept of things like Facetime. I’ve had this planned since the beginning lol. Also Patty and Stan deserve the kids they’ve always wanted.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie tries to enjoy the remaining time they have left with the kids.

Richie and Eddie are exhausted for the next week of taking care of the kids. Taking care of teenagers is fucking hard. When Beverly and Ben let Richie and Eddie know that they’ll be at the house in a couple days, they’re almost relieved. The plan is that the Big Loser Reunion will take place the following day, the kids will be sent home, and then the adults will stay in the city for a few extra days so they all can hang out. It honestly can’t come fast enough. Still, Eddie’s grown to like the kids and he’s gonna miss hanging out with them at least a little.

He does not feel that way, however, when they are bickering non-stop from being stuck in the house for days on end.

“Richie, for fuck’s sake, get out of the bathroom!”

“Not my fault they keep all the good jerk off lotion in here.”

“Richie that’s- ew! Come on!”

“Calm your tits and go use the other bathroom!”

“I’m already here and you’re only taking too long to be a dick!”

“I fucked your mom!”

“We’re gay and fucking dating and you’re still gonna make jokes about fucking my mom?!”

“Can’t beat a classic.”

“It’s a wonder you become a comedian.”

“Will you two fucking stop?!” Eddie snaps. Richie’s off having lunch with his manager about something important, so now it’s Eddie’s turn to deal with the kids alone. Baby Eddie turns around and gives his adult self an upset look, clearly frustrated with his Richie. “Baby me, go use the bathroom in mine and Richie’s room. Baby Richie, stop being an asshole for no reason.”

Baby Eddie wanders off to the bathroom and adult Eddie sighs deeply. It’s so much more tiring dealing with both of them alone, especially with all of the pent up energy. He decides then and there that they have to get out of the house.

The kids are away from Derry for the first time, on the opposite side of the country no less, and they’re leaving in a couple days to go back to their shitty hometown in the shitty 80s. Eddie figures that he might as well take the kids somewhere fun for the last time. Besides, Richie took them out last time he had them alone, so now it’s his turn.

Baby Richie eventually saunters out of the bathroom, looking slightly irritated. As annoyed as Eddie is with him, he knows that baby Richie is only being obnoxious because he feels trapped and bored, all without the ADHD medicine that adult Richie has. He can’t be too mad at the kid.

“Alright Rich, be reasonable. If I take you and Eddie out to go do something fun, will you quit tormenting him and driving everybody insane?”

Baby Richie looks delighted at this suggestion. “You have my word, Sir Eds!” Eddie forgoes a comment on the kid’s awful accent, for now. “What did you have in mind?”

“I figured I could take you guys downtown and let you two see the city.”

“Sounds good to me, luv!”

“Also you have to quit doing the British accent.” He really can’t take more of it.

“Fine,” baby Richie reluctantly complies. He goes to look for his Eddie and practically pounces on him when they run into each other. “Eds, guess what! Adult you is taking us to see downtown!”

“Really?” baby Eddie says, throwing his arms around baby Richie.

“Yeah!” baby Richie gives him a little kiss on his forehead. Eddie takes a picture discreetly and sends it to the group chat. Everyone agrees that, for as irritating as they are, baby Reddie is adorable.

When they finally get into the city, Eddie allows them to dictate where they go as they wander around, marveling at the things they see. He even humors their curiousity and lets them try stuff from the weird ass food trucks.

Baby Richie decides he wants to try fish tacos, which baby Eddie finds completely repulsive. Adult Eddie finds them a place to sit and people watch while Richie munches on his tacos accompanied with his usual banter, now in his awful Mexican accent. Baby Richie convinces baby Eddie to try a bite, and he ends up liking it even more than Richie. A little plate of food truck fish tacos should not cost ten goddamn dollars, Eddie thinks, but it’s worth it to see the kids happy.

The three of them people watch for a little bit. Eddie sardonically points out how there are wealthy residents dressed in clothes they could never dream of affording walking by residents who look like they can barely afford the cardboard box they live in. The kids barely listen, as they are particularly dumbfounded by the number of college stoners openly smoking weed on the sidewalk.

“Is that legal?” baby Eddie half whispers, looking completely scandalized.

“Yeah, in California anyway.” Eddie sees the mischievous glint enter baby Richie’s eyes. “But neither of us smoke and we’re not getting you weed, so don’t even try, little trashmouth.” The baby puts his hands up defensively.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You didn’t have to,” Eddie says acidly, taking the empty plate and putting it in the nearest recycling bin. The kids start their walk again, eager to see as much of the city as possible.

“Looks like you become a real tree hugger, Eds,” baby Richie says, elbowing baby Eddie.

“That’s California living for you, baby Richie.”

The kid scoffs. “Please tell me I’m not this much of a nerd in the future.”

“You’ve been a nerd your whole life,” he retorts, making his younger self laugh.

“The glasses don’t help,” baby Eddie adds with a playful tap.

“I’m being bullied by bottoms,” baby Richie pouts. Baby Eddie blushes and adult Eddie really wishes he hadn’t taught the kids how to use the internet.

“Alright, new topic,” Eddie groans.

“Why didn’t you change your name fully?” baby Eddie asks.

“What do you mean?”

“When you were on your phone at the table. You were reading an email and it was addressed to Edward Kaspbrak-Tozier.”

“You children need to learn to stop snooping on people,” Eddie grumbles. “But anyway, I wanted to keep Kaspbrak as a tribute to Dad but I also wanted to change it as a fuck you to Mom, so this was my compromise.”

“Ah, good old Mrs. K,” baby Richie chimes in. Whatever stupid joke he’s about the make is cut off by baby Eddie stopping to marvel at a skyscraper. Adult Eddie ushers the kids aside so they’re not standing in the middle of the sidewalk like complete assholes and lets his baby self admire the building.

“Holy shit, that’s the tallest building I’ve ever seen in my life. I mean, that’s not saying much since we’re from Derry but still.”

Baby Richie is equally as impressed. “Man, if only Haystack was here.”

“If you asked adult Ben, he could tell you exactly how it was built, step by step,” adult Eddie says, frowning.

Eddie was harboring a tad bit of secret jealousy towards all the other adult Losers. They all have careers that they love and are passionate about and he has a job that he only stuck with for so long because it pays well. He looks over at baby Eddie, whose eyes are still full of childlike wonder, even after Pennywise. He wants to tell his baby self to pick a better career path before the misery of the adult world crushes him.

The kids start to wander around again, with Eddie following behind them. Eddie snaps another picture of them holding hands. The group chat has been full of adorable pictures of baby Benverly, so Eddie thinks it’s only fair that he returns favor with baby Reddie.

“Stop taking pictures of us,” baby Eddie groans, turning around to face adult Eddie.

Adult Eddie responds by taking another picture, this time of his baby self’s annoyed face, with a devious grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been having serious writer’s block lately and I don’t know why lol. I’m gonna start writing a lot more, though, because I really need an escape from being mentally ill. I’m sad their time with the babies is coming to close though :(


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers are finally reunited

When both sets of Benverly arrive, Eddie is in the middle of a frantic cleaning of the second guest bedroom. Because he wants them to have a nice, clean bedroom to stay in, sue him.

Richie is hanging out with the kids in the kitchen, getting them some dinner and trying to stay out of Eddie’s way. He’s learned to just let Eddie do his thing when he’s on a cleaning spree.

“Eds!” Richie calls out as he brings his two friends, each with a mini-me in tow, into the house. “Bev and Ben are here!”

He turns to the kids and adds “The babies are in the kitchen, you can go hang out with them if you want, me and adult Eddie will be in there soon. You four can help yourselves to anything in the kitchen.”

“Thanks, Richie” adult Ben grins. Bev guides the kids into the kitchen while Richie goes off to find Eddie. The kids look around at the house, curious about what the lives of adult Richie and Eddie are like. Married adult Richie and Eddie, for that matter.

“It’s gonna be weird seeing Richie and Eddie now knowing that they get married as adults” baby Ben whispers.

“I’m sure they could say the same thing about you” adult Ben playfully elbows him. Baby Ben laughs.

The four are greeted with an excited “Bev! Haystack!” from Richie as soon as they step into the kitchen. The four kids instinctively run into a group hug while the adults stand back and watch, reminiscing about being that age. It’s very easy to reminisce when you have your younger self directly in front of you, as all the adults have learned.

“How have you guys been?” baby Ben asks gleefully.

“Los Angeles is fucking awesome” baby Reddie say in unison.

“Our adult selves are, well, weird, but they’re kind of cool to hang around” baby Eddie continues.

“Our Richie’s definitely been sharing some stories in the group chat about you two” Bev chuckles.

“Told you about my tryst with Eddie’s mom in the future, didn’t they?” baby Richie sighs dramatically. “What can I say, I like older women.”

There’s a smile pulling at the corner of his lips as he’s trying not to laugh at himself. Baby Eddie is not as amused.

“Goddamnit Richie, everyone here knows you’re gay.“

“Not that the mom jokes made you look straighter in the first place” baby Bev adds.

The look on Richie’s face is priceless. “Are- are you telling me that you all knew the whole fucking time?!”

“Not exactly,” baby Ben says, laughing a little. “The mom jokes and deflection made it look like you were hiding something, though. None of us could figure out what.”

Both Bevs hold back on telling him that they knew, they always knew. Just like Stan. They both decide that this Richie doesn’t need to know that he’s not as good at hiding it as he thinks he is. Adult Richie took it much better when she and Stan told him, though that was probably helped by the fact that they were all drunk.

“Well, at least they were funny.”

“That’s debatable” baby Ben says with a level of dryness that could rival Stan. It earns him laughs and high fives from baby Bev and Eddie.

The adults laugh too, though their laughter is more fueled by nostalgia. “Ah, memories” Ben sighs. The kids take a break from ripping on Richie, for now anyway, and strike up a more normal conversation.

Baby Bev is admiring baby Eddie’s painted nails when adult Richie returns with adult Eddie. She can’t fight her little grin when she sees adult Eddie’s cleaning attire, a t-shirt from one of Richie’s old tours and a pair of tiny shorts not unlike the ones he wore as a teenager. “I never realized how much of a style icon you were, Eddie.”

“You should see him in the suits he wears to work” adult Richie matches her grin, pinching his Eddie’s cheek. Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Richie’s Twitter followers think I’m a gay fashion icon.” The kids all giggle at the thought. The adults don’t bother surpressing theirs, either.

“Meanwhile, my Twitter followers keep tweeting me a link to a Tumblr blog about how I need better clothes” Richie scoffs.

“Wait, what?” baby Richie looks up at his adult self.

“Didn’t I tell you about that? Yeah, some people have no taste. You’d like my fans, though. They’re all little shits just like you.”

Baby Richie fake pouts, which makes baby Bev giggle. “I’ll help style you when we’re older, Rich. From what I’ve seen with adult me, we’ve got good taste.” She throws her arms around baby Richie and he hugs back with equal fervor.

“Remember when I used to hug your mom like that, Eds?” adult Richie elbows his Eddie, grinning like an idiot.

Over the years, Eddie has gotten good at concealing his amusement at his husband’s stupid jokes. “Oh fuck off, Richie.”

“God, you’re both exactly the same as adults” baby Ben marvels.

“I told you,” adult Bev chuckles. Baby Richie and Bev have yet to quit hugging each other. Makes sense, besides Stan, Beverly was Richie’s biggest confidant as a teenager.

“I promise I’m not gonna take your lady, Haystack.”

“Well I wasn’t worried about that” baby Ben deadpans.

“Damn, Ben, when did you get so sarcastic?” baby Eddie teases. He shrugs.

“Someone has to fill the void of being sarcastic until Stan gets here.”

The rest of the evening isn’t so bad once all of the kids are settled. It’s mostly the kids taking a stab at some games on Richie’s PS4 and occasionally asking the adults they haven’t gotten to know yet questions. It’s managable, but still pretty crazy having an extra four teenagers under one roof.

Things get even crazier when the remaining six people show up. The kids have once again claimed the living room for themselves and are camping out on the couch, exploring the wonders of the internet on Eddie’s laptop while they still can.

The adults are all having a much more civilized conversation in the kitchen when they hear the door being unlocked by Bill with his spare key. Suddenly, the house is flooded with more Losers and it almost feels cramped.

Somehow everyone has made their way into the kitchen and things are more chaotic than ever. The kids are excited to all be together again, as are the adults.

The whole room is buzzing with conversation. The babies are talking about the future, catching up on experiences, marvelling at the adults they haven’t met yet. The adults are equally engaged in their own conversations about what their kid selves have been like and how nice it is to see everyone again. Eddie starts to feel claustrophobic.

His and Richie’s house is maybe a bit modest by LA standards, but it isn’t small. That being said, it’s definitely not designed to hold fourteen fucking people in one area at the same time. Overwhelmed, he decides he needs a drink. The popping of a wine bottle cork catches everyone’s attention.

Eddie goes to pour wine for the adults (minus Bev, of course). Baby Richie asks “Can we have some too?” The adult Losers respond in unison with varying ways of saying “no.”

Bev goes to stand with the kids instead. Baby Bev and Ben are used to her growing pregnant stomach, which is now starting to show, but the rest of the babies can’t stop staring with fascination. “What do you kids think?” she pats her stomach gently.

“Isn’t it, like,” baby Stan pauses, trying to think of the most polite way to phrase it. “Dangerous to have a baby once you’re older?”

“Damn, I guess I really am getting old,” Bev chuckles. Baby Stan blushes. “But yes, there are some more risks having a baby at my age. I promise, the baby and I are doing fine. I just have to check in with the doctor a little more frequently.”

Adult Eddie could easily list the statistics and risks that come with her pregnancy, but he decides not to. He has a filter, unlike some people, such as his husband who is now going back and forth with Bill about some inane sex related topic.

“Has the baby started kicking yet?” baby Eddie asks.

“Not yet, but you can still feel if you want.” Baby Eddie sheepishly puts his left hand on Beverly’s stomach.

“Being pregnant looks awful” baby Richie blurts out. Adult Richie sighs deeply. Damn his past self and the way he never thinks about what he says.

“Some things suck, but it’s not awful,” adult Bev admits. She ruffles his hair, which makes all the other Losers, adult and kid alike, laugh at his displeased face. “I gotta admit, sometimes it gets boring not having your trash mouth around making stupid comments.”

“At least someone around here appreciates my comedy.” Bev laughs and tries to ruffle adult Richie’s hair too. She already had to reach up to ruffle baby Richie’s hair because of how tall he is, so trying to reach adult Richie’s hair has her standing on her toes. Adult Richie bends down slightly, allowing her to run her hand through his mess of curls. The room is full of laughter from both sets of Losers.

No one wants to address the elephant in the room, that they’re all here to send the kids back. It pains Mike when he finally has to say “We can do the ritual whenever you guys are ready.” The other thirteen Losers don’t respond for awhile, and he doesn’t blame them.

“I don’t want to leave the future,” baby Mike says softly. “I really like it here.”

“Me too” baby Eddie practically whispers. Baby Richie puts an arm around him. The adults are kind of sad about not getting to spend time with the babies anymore, but the kids are distraught over having to leave the future to go back to shitty Derry.

“You guys will always have the memories of being here with us” adult Ben tries.

“Memories that you can never share with anyone else,” adult Mike quickly adds. The kids all sigh. They have to leave this place they all really like, and now they can’t even talk about it?

“Space time continuum and all of that” Mike continues. “People can’t know too much about the future. It’s a miracle that you guys being here in the first place hasn’t caused some kind of irreversible damage.”

“And what happens if we do share shit about the future?” baby Richie asks with a slightly snide tone.

“Then you get to live with the fact that you’re the dumbass who fucked up the timeline” adult Richie counters.

“It’s gonna be hard not to tell people about all of this, though” baby Stan says. Adult Richie shrugs.

“You already hide the shit about Pennywise from everyone else, this is the same, really. A well kept secret among the Losers.”

Everyone stays silent for a few more moments, before the fourteen of them reluctantly shuffle into the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I promise I didn’t give up on this fic!!! Shit just kinda gets in the way sometimes. Ended on some angst, blah. As much as I’ve had some trouble continuing, I’m still sad this fic is ending. I really like writing these chaotic gays. Also I will never get over the Bill Hader Needs Better Clothes blog. That is canon in every one of my IT fics. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I tried to make it longer to compensate for the absence!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long two weeks, the ritual takes place

The seven adults stand before the seven kids, who are all squeezed together on the couch. “The ritual can start now with, um, whoever wants to go first,” Mike tells the group. He’s nervous. They’re all nervous.

“I guess I’ll go first,” Ben says with an anxious sigh. “Okay, little me. I know you have a really negative self image. The kids at school are assholes and they make you feel awful because they don’t like the way you look, and then the stupid clown comes and makes it worse. And it sticks with you, even when you’re away from them. The things they say are terrible, and it’s completely unfair that they get away with it.”

He chokes back some tears. Bev grabs his arm, which reassures him slightly. “I know when you first saw me, you looked relieved to see that you end up losing the weight when you get older. But I’m gonna tell you right now that being thinner doesn’t solve all your problems. Lose weight because it’s what you want, don’t spend your time obsessing about body fat and numbers on a scale. Don’t take your diet too far because you’re worried about not making enough progress. You’re a kind, hardworking person, a good friend, husband, and hopefully you end up being a good father too. You need to spend more time thinking about that instead of worrying about what’s on the outside.”

He and baby Ben exchange a tearful hug. “Thanks, big me.”

Adult Bev then gives him a little kiss that both cheers Ben up and melts the hearts of every Loser, both adult and kid. “I guess I’ll go next.”

She gives a warm, motherly smile at her baby self, even though she’s freaking out on the inside. “Beverly,” she uses all of her strength not to start crying. “Things, um, aren’t that great.”

Baby Bev gives a little nod. “Dad is awful, and the worst part is he makes you think you deserve it. And when you get older, you start to think that you really do deserve it. And you look for people that treat you like that.” Bev tenses up, Ben squeezes her shoulders. The other adult Losers look to her with concern. Especially Eddie, since he knows exactly what it’s like marrying a carbon copy of your abusive parent.

“It’s confusing, too, because they treat you so shitty and you know that you’re being treated like shit, but then they’re so nice to you that you question if they were that bad in the first place. And you can’t hate them all the time...,” she trails off. She becomes aware of the tears in her eyes and shakes them off. “But it’s not right, none of this is right. You need to look at how everyone here treats you, this is what you deserve. Not how Dad treats you. Just, whatever you do, don’t bottle this up inside. After you move out, please get help immediately. Don’t wait for twenty seven years and a failed marriage to do it like I did.”

Baby Bev silently nods before letting out a deep breath. The kid is on the edge of her seat, clearly freaked out, and Bev immediately regrets everything she said. Ben and Mike, who has been standing on the other side of her, pull her into a little group hug. It’s tough for the kids to hear, but they need to process it early so they can be better. “Here, I’ll go next” Mike offers.

He looks at his baby self, and his baby self already gives him a knowing look. He knows exactly what adult Mike is gonna start talking about. “We’ve been through this a few times already” he sighs, looking and sounding like an exhausted dad. “What happened to Mom and Dad wasn’t our fault, Mike.”

“But we could have-“ baby Mike starts to protest before he’s cut off by his older self.

“We were little,” Mike says firmly. “We were so young. We couldn’t have done anything. This was out of our control.” Mike sees the sadness enter his younger self’s dark eyes, and he softens a bit. When he got older, he recognized that his grandfather’s “tough love” approach was his way of showing how much he cared about Mike and that it worked well. But kid Mike hasn’t processed this yet.

“This isn’t your fault. None of this was our fault. The people of Derry are stupid racist pricks and the clown is a sadistic fuck. Just because they say things doesn’t make it true,” he continues, all aggression in his voice gone. “It was never our fault.”

Baby Mike’s voice is shaky as he repeats, “It was never our fault.” He gives a little nod and adult Mike knows it’s finally clicked with him.

Stan is standing next to Mike, so he figures it’s his turn to go next. He opens his mouth, but pauses. He can’t believe he’s actually going to talk about this. The other Losers give him a few moments to relax.

“Stan,” Stan begins, feeling his arm shake slightly. This is nerve wracking to talk about with his younger self, even more so in front of all the other baby Losers, but he needs to hear it. “I know by this point it’s already started, you’ve been having some really bad thoughts.” Feeling like he doesn’t belong, feeling like everyone hates him, wondering if life even has a point before deciding that life doesn’t have a point.

“I won’t go into detail about what they are in front of everybody, but you know what I’m talking about.” Baby Stan silently thanks his older self for being as private as he can about this. His cheeks are already burning as he tries to ignore the concerned looks his Losers are giving him and focus on his adult self instead.

“These thoughts aren’t normal. You can’t just ignore them. Mom and Dad-“ he stifles some tears at the memories coming back. His parents didn’t even know he was having these problems until he had to be hospitalized in college, and even after that he ignored and denied them. He’s looking at his younger self and can’t believe that the bright eyed kid in front of him would have to deal with thoughts so dark. He hopes after this he has an easier time. “Mom and Dad love you so much, and when they find out when you’re older, they wish you’d told them earlier because they would have helped you. Please, talk to them now.”

Baby Stan looks up from the floor to see his adult self’s watery eyes meeting his own. “For me, buddy, okay?”

Baby Stan nods. “Okay.”

Sensing that baby Stan is uncomfortable with everyone looking at him, Eddie goes next. “Baby me, you’ve been doing a good job being away from your medicine and inhaler, I’m proud of you for not freaking out too much. From what you’ve told me, the time you left was not too long after you figured out that it was all a placebo.” He decided earlier not to poke fun at the “gazebo” incident, he doesn’t wanna embarass the poor kid.

“You already know that you’re not sick, but when you came here I could tell she was starting to get to you again. Don’t fall back into the trap that I fell back into. Mom’s gonna get mad at you for standing up for yourself, but you can’t let her drag you back down. Bev pretty much summed it up when she talked about her dad. You’re not sick and you know you’re not sick, don’t let her make you second guess yourself. It’ll put you back at square one.”

“What do you mean back at square one?” baby Eddie squeaks out.

“I lost so many years of my life because I was too much of a fucking coward to be myself. I knew I wasn’t sick, but I went back to taking to medicine anyway because it’s who Mom wanted me to be. I knew that I was gay, but I married a woman because I thought it was who I was supposed to be.” Baby Eddie looks horrified at the thought of both. Baby Richie holds him. “Right now you’re so much braver than me, so much braver than you think. You’re living your life being exactly who you are, promise me you won’t stop.”

“I won’t” baby Eddie tells him with complete sincerity. Baby Richie squeezes his hand. Adult Richie notices and decides to squeeze his Eddie’s hand as well. Eddie squeezes back, and Richie can’t help the little grin that comes as he feels Eddie’s wedding ring pressed against his hand.

“I think Eds said it best, baby me,” he says when baby Richie makes eye contact with him. “You can’t stop being who you are, no matter what any stupid motherfucker tells you. Don’t repress yourself for twenty seven years and become known worldwide as the asshole who talks about fucking women non-stop. Be who you want to be.”

“Be proud” adult Stan softly adds. Richie feels tears welling up. Those were the words he told Richie when he came out as an adult. He blinks them away.

“You can’t let anyone make you feel like you’re wrong or dirty, because you’re not,” he pauses, thinking of the transformation he’d witnessed over the past two weeks. He saw his closeted, terrified thirteen year old self who could barely even say the word gay without looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was going to beat him up. And now here his baby self was, openly displaying his affection towards his Eddie. “But I think you know that already.” He exchanges a warm smile with baby Richie.

There’s tension in the air as there’s only one person left. Bill. Thirteen year old Bill is still in the process of grieving over Georgie and stuck in a cycle of self hatred and guilt. Everyone, kid and adult alike, has the feeing this won’t be pretty.

“And that leaves me” adult Bill says with a nervous laugh. Baby Bill’s expression immediately turns sour.

“I know what you’re going to say” he grumbles.

Adult Bill brushes this off. “But you need to hear it anyway. It wasn’t our fault.”

“Yes it fucking was!” baby Bill spats. Baby Ben and Richie each place a hand on baby Bill, as if to hold him back from freaking out on his adult self.

“No, it was not,” Bill keeps his voice steady, even though on the inside he’s trembling. He pushes away the old thoughts, the thoughts he conquered a long time ago. What happened wasn’t his fault and that’s a fact. “How could we possibly have known?”

“Maybe if we weren’t such a piece of shit brother, and we hadn’t faked being sick and went with him! None of this would have ever happened if we weren’t so fucking selfish!”

Tears stream down baby Bill’s face as he take a deep breath before he can continue yelling. Now baby Ben and Richie are really holding him back. “How the fuck can you stand there and say it wasn’t your fault?! You’re as bad as the fucking clown!” He starts to sob more, which finishes his rant against his adult self.

The adult Losers all look at adult Bill, visbily worried. He doesn’t respond as he’s stuck in a trance of watching what he did all throughout his teenage years with his own eyes.

Adult Bev walks over, kneels down, and places her hand over his. “Bill, sweetie, you need to calm down” she says in a soft, motherly voice. Something about her words soothe Bill and he just takes a deep breath instead of yelling. Adult Bill can tell it’s him getting the reassurance he should be getting from his mother.

“Mom and Dad aren’t mad,” he says softly. “Not at all. They’re being a bit selfish now, and it’s wrong of them to be so wrapped up in their grief, but they never stop loving you. Ever.” Baby Bill looks up, face blotchy, and sniffles quietly.

“It’s not like this forever. They do come to their senses. They tell you that you were the best big brother, because we were.”

Baby Bill stares at him and adult Bill stares back. “I’m not finishing until you say it.”

It takes a few seconds but then a small voice, shaky but firm, says “It wasn’t our fault.”

Everyone takes a few moments to collect themselves before Mike gives more instructions. “Now you kids all need to join hands.”

They obey and Mike begins reciting something that no one else has any clue as to what it means. Slowly there’s some light flashing over the couch by the kids, and they begin to glow too. Suddenly they seem so far away. They’re really leaving.

“Goodbye kids,” adult Ben calls to them. “Be good!”

“As good as you little shits can possibly be, anyway!” adult Richie adds. The room is filled with laughter from everyone until the laughter of the children stops. The light begins fades, then completely disappears.

The adults are left staring at the empty couch. It really worked. The universe didn’t fall apart and the babies have all gone back to their timeline. The kids they all spent two weeks getting so close to won’t be coming back.

Naturally, Richie is the one to break the silence. “Wow Mike, finally found a ritual that works.” He hopes it’s not too obvious that he’s covering the sadness in his voice.

The rest of the Losers give their usual, unamused responses to him. Stan even hits him with a “Beep beep, Richie.” But Richie can tell everyone was waiting for someone to lighten the room. All these years as a comedian have made him a master of reading a room.

Eddie leads everyone back into the kitchen for some refreshments, and soon enough it’s like any other meeting of the Losers Club. Richie looks up from his wine glass and watches his husband captivate everyone with his spiels about nothing. He walks over and interrupts him with a small kiss on the cheek. All he can think is that he can’t wait for his baby Richie to experience this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! So many emotions. The end finally came, sorry it took way longer than I would have liked it to. I wasn’t expecting to have this many problems with writing all of a sudden. Even though I developed severe writer’s block, I’m still gonna miss writing these little guys. I can not thank everyone who has read, commented, left kudos, and stuck with this story enough. Seriously, every comment and kudos makes my day so much. I know the inevitable decline is happening, but I really hope this fandom never dies. I’m always looking to write more. Anyone have any ideas/requests for any future fics?


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